That green eyes monster strikes again(rather dramatically)

Jealousy rots me.
It stinks and burns into my throat.
Lays in my gut like raw,undercooked chicken.
I didn't have to,didn't want to know everything.
Tact.
and yes,we are all guilty of dropping the unnecessary at the beginning.
The creeping truth,
the past.
Haunting us,
mocking,especially when we are most tired and run down.
Slithering up my windpipe.
Sinking barbs into my esophagus.
And all those that came before,
all that lay with you,
taking with them notches of the heart that i will take as mine.
Let the frigid hand of death
steal you in the night.

Elbows,part 2

If it aint elbows
then it's their fuckin legs.
What is it with you people?
Do your bollox not fit between your thighs?
Stop invading my space
and fuck off back to the gym.
I wouldn't piss on you
if you were on
fire.

Childhood

I think of childhood.
It was OK
but a load of shit compared to life now.
Childhood.
Spicey curry Pot noodles,
fresh cream chocolate eclairs from Portland Rd bakers (South Norwood),
the one legged man in the swimming pool.
Scared,
too revolted to share the same water.
Porn mags.
Guilt from as long as i can remember.
The sun,
hazey,
through curtains into a darkened room.
On a hospital bed.
Bone dry mouth from the pink liquid i had to drink.
Faces above to take from my body.
My foreskin,
my tonsils,
my adenoids.
To prick my ear drums 4 times with grommits.
The discovery of them months later on my pillow.
My mutilated childs willy,
soaking the scabs off in the bath.
My friends,
Nitin Patel(chilli powder on pop corn),
Peter Hart(poor family,a bag of sweets for Christmas.His drunk dad taking his belt to him).
Childhood.
Shitting my pants on the reading mat at school.
Too scared to ask for the toilet.
Claudet,
fat Jamaican Claudet and her posse of little white bitchs
pushing the door open on me when i did actually use the fuckin toilet.
Childhood.
Laying in bed with my mum.
Listing all the animals i'd seen at London Zoo.
Childhood.
It's a start i suppose.
x

Poems on the underground

Poems on the underground.
Bland,
mundane,
Confusing.
For the the bleary eyed,now belittled,to contemplate and dismiss as awful crap.
Throw away shit coz that's what they really are.
Deigned to divide again the educated from the working classes.
A secret code as to say,
"Hark,look at this patronizing bilge Charlie,those poor fuckers haven't a clue".

Flying Medallions diaries

I thought i'd start putting my memories of the Meds down.
Ramshackle as they come along like.
Maybe i'll get into it and something like a book'll appear.
I wanna write again about the end.
All the weird stuff that preceded events on the night of September the 10th 1995.
Ok,let's get spooky.

Our album,"We love everybody and everything's great".
This was of course kinda ironic.We hated everything.hahaha
The very first thing you hear is a sample of a car crash.
We used it as the intro to the tune "Boy racer".

Just before we travelled into mainland Europe,we joked about releasing a story to the music press that we had all died in a tour bus accident.
The plan was to return 6 months later,to rise from the dead.
We titled the press release the Second Cumin in reference to the stone roses forthcoming record.
How we all laughed at the spicey piss take.

Mr Stevens wrote the song lyrics,"I wanna be in a coma coz it's great".

Duggie had a tattoo of the Grim Reaper done on his arm.

OK.
We went over to do the Festival.
The tire blew out on a French motorway on the way home.
The bus hit the central reservation at 70 mph,flipped about a million times before coming to rest on it's roof.
Duggie and Mr Stevens were both thrown from the side windows as the Bus flipped out and rolled over and over.
Both suffered massive head injuries.
Mr Stevens got his wish of being in a coma,
Duggie met the Grim Reaper.

This shit changed my life.
Be careful what you wish for.
We courted controversy.
you live by the sword,you die by the sword.
These days i try to greet the day with a smile.
Love ya neighbours,
All that shit.
Believe in peace and love.
x

To Aoife

You are warm.
You do not disappoint.
You calm the storm in my gut.
The storm that rages in your absence.
I get lost in your kisses,
get lost in hot swoony breath.
Get lost in your freckles,blue eyes and sweat.
Taste and memories,
keeping me going,
on my toes,
alert.
Surviving on lust,
living off love ready to burst.
holding off,
holding back.
Terrified,
addicted,
alive.

In love

We came together.
And i realised how rare a treasure is that.
We fell and rested.
Our breathing rapid returning to calm.
That release,
that snap,that perfectly timed moment
before the world returns like freshly fired bricks.