2 things

Hello
My name is Alex and i want to share with you this evening 2 things.
One good,
One bad.
First the good.
I wanna talk about steak.
Yep,the flesh of the cow.
You know when you cook steak at home and ya always left thinking,Yeah,nice but i wish it tasted how you once had it in a restaurant.
Ya get me yeah?
Well check this,this is how ya cook steak.
OK when choosing ya steak it's important to look for fat kinda mottled through the flesh.
This is called marbling.
Up until recent i always looked for the leanest cuts thinking it would be the tenderest,tastiest choice.
Nope,you've been conned blud.
That marbling,that fat,cooks out and desolves in the pan and makes ya beef taste wicked.
Telling ya,go buy a rib eye.
These are the dapper don daddy of steaks.
Fuck all that fillet mignon fillet steak loads of dosh bullshit.
those steaks are for the pussyole yeah.
Word.
Ok,but what cuts ya buy aint what this piece is about.
Butter.
That's what we're saying.
this is how ya cook ya steak.
OK,turn on ya hob,highest heat.
Put in a glug of olive oil.
Let your pan heat up hot as hot can be.
that oil's gotta be smoking.
Proper hot.
while it's heating up,pat dry ya steak with a piece of kitchen towel.
When ya pan is volcanic,this is the good part chuck in the pan like maybe a third of a packet of butter.
Yup.loads.
Watch that fucker sizzle.
Now,salt ya dry steak on the side that's going down 1st.
Put the bastard in the molten bubbly butter oil cauldren.
there's gonna be butter bubbling all round the steak.
With ya spatula,you wanna like spatule the butter,like keep coating up,licking up the steak.
Flip the meat,salt the side and repeat.
I like my steaks pretty well done(5 a side and flipped again) but reckon to do a ribeye medium rare you want 2 mins a side then rest for 2 mins.
The butter cooks the meat well good.
you get that brilliant flavoursome char taste.

OK that's what i wanted to say about steak.
A good thing.
Now the bad.

I know i shouldn't do it coz it always pisses me off.
I google Wonk Unit to check up on the happy world of punk rock.
And once i get through the millions of gig listing and myspace/facebook blarb i'll stumble upon a review.
And it is alway BAD.
Like nasty and bitchy and just totally fuckin wrong.
The kind when you think,hang on,were you even there?
I came across one earlier.
An acoustic show,a good support actually with the guy from the Slackers.
It was a local show for me and at leat 70 percent of the audience were my friends but were also down for Vic.We're talking about 50 people
We all had a laugh and i like to think i did a good job in warming up the people for the headliner.
There were a few people on before me but they didn't really have an audience.
You know the sort of set you see a million times but no one pays attention and you feel guilty for not watching the whole set.
Now if you were to go by this review on a very punk credible site you'd actually think that the opening acts were brilliant and i was a load of shit.
That my whole take on life is some comedy fucking routine penned for laughs,cringe worthy awful and of terrible terrible bad taste.
I write about my life you fuckin cunts
No one elses.
Mine.
I write for me.
You poor fucking punk rock lambs you.
Telling ya,i stuck my blood covered cock on the 1st album just so you pissy nameless wankers could write shit on me.
OK,rant over.
And it wasn't aimed at you people,my blog followers who are all my friends.
I just hate the fucking poison some people write about me.
I just wish i could rough em up a bit.
Not too bad,just a few punchs.

x

AA

Just remember man,whatever ya problems,at the end of the day,it is YOU that picks up the glass.You have a choice and you are choosing to drink.It's very easy to blame outside influences for ones alcoholism but to be honest,that's just a cop out. It's not as if we have our hands tied and they're the ones pouring the drinks down our throats.
Sorry if this sounds kinda heavy but there aint really a nice way of saying it.
We are the problem.It is our choice,no one else"s.
I say this to ya coz i remember hearing it myself for the 1st time.
I was in a group therapy session at at drying out clinic and everyone was talking about ones previous failed sobriety attempts.
And i was whinging about how my girl was still boozing and offering me no support and that my career had been wrecked after The Medallions had that motor crash.
And the councilor was like,"what,so she was forcing you to drink?She was lifting the glass to your lips?"
And i was like "aaaah"
It was after this that i realised that all my previous bouts of sobriety had failed coz i blamed everything and everyone else for my boozing but NOT myself.
I guess "acceptance" kinda really hit home after that.
It's down us and us only.
Sobriety is seriously the best thing ever.
If you are fucked,if you are an alcoholic then it will not get better.
It's down hill all the way for us lucky cats.
hahahahah
We may be able to briefly control it but i reckon we all know by now that it never lasts long.
All that lovely guilt we wake up to every day.
hahahahahahah
Staying sober isn't an easy ride,
there's never a time when you are suddenly fixed BUT
life gradually gets better and continues to keep getting better.Life becomes good.It really does.
The 1st year is the hardest,you have got to keep busy but after a while a time comes when you start to forget that you are suffering.

I could never imagine a life without drinking.
I just couldn't see it.
I would probably of chosen death and in fact i almost did.(i burst a massive artery off of my heart and i was bleeding internally into my lungs effectively drowning in my own blood) but this didn't stop me drinking (it was a violent incident involving a loved one that did).
Now,it seriously doesn't bother me.
Sobriety is normal,just as being fucked off my face was the norm back then.

It sounds cliched but we gotta arm ourselves against possible relapses,just shit one can do/avoid bla bla bla to avoid falling off the wagon etc
If any of this makes sense then there's plenty more stuff that would be good for you to hear.
Just shit i've learnt along the way like.

TBC

Abuse

http://www.myspace.com/my/mail/read/inbox/534329227

life

I find drunk people just so interesting.
The way they invade your personal space.
Basically it gets me hard.
And oh,the way they spit at you when talking and it always lands in the corner of your mouth.
Ooh give me more.
Please,please drunk fuck.Repeat yourself just one more time
and if you`re a girl,
walk as slowly down the street making yourself oh so obvious to all the wankers just so ready to throw punchs at your ever so grateful chaperone.
Gosh,i`ve just come........

This is an old blog entry i just found on Myspace.It made me smile.

Do the world a favour,be our drummer.

This statement.
About doing the world a favour.
I think that's fair enough.
Coz don't we all know that cool kids love Wonk unit.
hahahahaha.
Actually i'm not sure that kool kids are allowed to like Wonk unit yet.
They were in San Diego last year.
But that was because we didn't have a drum kit or amps so we used a bin instead and just plain Di'd the guitars.
That was kool.
Yup.
We impressed the hell out of the kool sharks there in the Soda room.
I loved that show
and i loved the cool crowd too.
Big up the kool crowd.
And yourself.
Good.
Does anyone out there fancy playing drums for us?
I mean,there's some pretty heavy bait here,know what i'm saying.
You get to sit next to Kool Cat alex and his wonderful loving persona.
And Tommy.
He is dark and swarthy.
He is nice too.
We are like men.
But kind men.
Don't think we'll mollycoddle you in any funny way though.
We are men remember.
Tall dark firm men.
Men who've done their time on the road.
Men who've walked life the long way round.
Yeah.
Heterosexual men.
Mmmmmmmmmmm
Yeah
you like that.
But if you were a homosexual drummer then that would be cool too.
Possibly even cooler?
Wow.
We would actually join the cool skool if we had a gay drummer!!!
Brilliant.
Ok,you don't have to be gay to join wonk unit but if might help.
hahahahahaha
Or a girl drummer?
That bird from the Carpenters could play some mean funk that's for sure.
Ok enough's enough.
I started this bulletin uninspired.
And now i an happy because a few minutes later,i have laughed out loud and felt the creative juices stirred for the 1st time in a while.
I will put this on my blog.
cementyoucunt@blogspot.com
and i guess i'll also put it on Fuckbook.
Yes i meant Facebook but hate it.
Ok.
errrrrrrr oh yeah right.
Drummers.
this is the deal.
Touring pretty much starts in March.
1st the Uk then mainland Europe(east side) in June.
We'll almost certainly head out to the West coast of America at some stage this year and Japan keeps taunting us.
Have you seen Lost in Translation?
Oh my fuckin God!!!
That Scarlet bird is fuckin amazing with that pink hair wig.
Did all us men not fair fall in love with that piece of fine american ass?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
That was me going Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.
I guess i was trying to explain my love for her.
and i don't care what anyone says yeah,her and Bill Murrey got it on at the end and lived happilly ever after and everything was good.
Thankyou.

Alex

Ode to the 5 Shitty fingers

Hi Duncan, on my way home this evening thought i'd write the "ode the 5 shitty fingers."

Chorus

EEEEEEEYOOOOUUUU make some noise, we'll shriek in the squares of England's towns
EEEEEEEEEYOOOOOUUUU until it bleeds
we are the five shitty fingers

Verse 1

The rustler of horse he stole
until the lord put him in gaol
where the fiddler fiddled
to the ode of the five shitty fingers

Verse 2

Meat a hefty man of pie
and on his platter no meat did spy
to cook he roared 'i'll run you through'
and ran away with the five shitty fingers

Verse 3

Gayblade a dandy merry fool
Gayblade like to wave his tool
and maidens flocked to watch him dance
to the dance of the five shitty fingers

Verse 4

Two-tits Tommy Argentin
could pluck a song from mandolin
dark as dusk and swarthy too
he plucked with the five shitty fingers

Verse 5

Now village fool, a simple lad
idiot, but no means bad
beats the drum like his monkey
to the beat of the five shitty fingers

This is sung to the tune of Melody Number 1

Shiny Motorbikes

I could buy a trendy bar,
with a flood lit area to park my car,
and a motorcycle enclosure.
everybody likes
shiny motorbikes