Bicycle etiquette- the laws of the road

I've been riding bikes and skateboards all my life and by the ages of like 8 you kinda understand that those big metals things you share the road with (other vehicles) are bigger than you and go faster than you so you don't fuck with them because they can squash you. Little cars respect vans, vans respect lorries and we all respect horses. We all respect the bigger vehicle. These are more awkward to manoeuvre so they unofficially get right of way. This is called "the laws of the road". The laws that sensible people abide by. You also learn very quickly (by age 8) that you do your best not to fuck with the flow of traffic. This is because people in cars are trying to get somewhere the quickest way possible (cars go faster than bikes for the most part). They don't have time to leisurely cycle to work. Yes, cycling is an efficient way to travel in the city and over short distances but let's be honest here, you cycle because you like to cycle. Builders can't cycle to work, nor delivery drivers because the vehicles they are driving are their work. The vast majority of car drivers do respect you and don't want to run you over.
Cyclists riding 2 abreast (and yes, even at the speed limit) is a blatant self entitled antagonistic piss take. No one likes to be stuck behind a tractor, no one likes to be stuck behind a police car, no one likes to be stuck behind a funeral procession. But these things happen. We have no choice whereas you and your mates in Lycra , chatting 2 abreast (do you even notice that motorcade snaking behind you?) do have a choice. To be a cunt or not to be a cunt. Roads are there to get from a to b. It goes both ways and you 2 abreast riders are actually making people hate cyclists. Sort your lives out, I've heard Segways are all the rage these days. Why don't you go drive off a cliff....