Monday 13 June 2011

2 things

Hello
My name is Alex and i want to share with you this evening 2 things.
One good,
One bad.
First the good.
I wanna talk about steak.
Yep,the flesh of the cow.
You know when you cook steak at home and ya always left thinking,Yeah,nice but i wish it tasted how you once had it in a restaurant.
Ya get me yeah?
Well check this,this is how ya cook steak.
OK when choosing ya steak it's important to look for fat kinda mottled through the flesh.
This is called marbling.
Up until recent i always looked for the leanest cuts thinking it would be the tenderest,tastiest choice.
Nope,you've been conned blud.
That marbling,that fat,cooks out and desolves in the pan and makes ya beef taste wicked.
Telling ya,go buy a rib eye.
These are the dapper don daddy of steaks.
Fuck all that fillet mignon fillet steak loads of dosh bullshit.
those steaks are for the pussyole yeah.
Word.
Ok,but what cuts ya buy aint what this piece is about.
Butter.
That's what we're saying.
this is how ya cook ya steak.
OK,turn on ya hob,highest heat.
Put in a glug of olive oil.
Let your pan heat up hot as hot can be.
that oil's gotta be smoking.
Proper hot.
while it's heating up,pat dry ya steak with a piece of kitchen towel.
When ya pan is volcanic,this is the good part chuck in the pan like maybe a third of a packet of butter.
Yup.loads.
Watch that fucker sizzle.
Now,salt ya dry steak on the side that's going down 1st.
Put the bastard in the molten bubbly butter oil cauldren.
there's gonna be butter bubbling all round the steak.
With ya spatula,you wanna like spatule the butter,like keep coating up,licking up the steak.
Flip the meat,salt the side and repeat.
I like my steaks pretty well done(5 a side and flipped again) but reckon to do a ribeye medium rare you want 2 mins a side then rest for 2 mins.
The butter cooks the meat well good.
you get that brilliant flavoursome char taste.

OK that's what i wanted to say about steak.
A good thing.
Now the bad.

I know i shouldn't do it coz it always pisses me off.
I google Wonk Unit to check up on the happy world of punk rock.
And once i get through the millions of gig listing and myspace/facebook blarb i'll stumble upon a review.
And it is alway BAD.
Like nasty and bitchy and just totally fuckin wrong.
The kind when you think,hang on,were you even there?
I came across one earlier.
An acoustic show,a good support actually with the guy from the Slackers.
It was a local show for me and at leat 70 percent of the audience were my friends but were also down for Vic.We're talking about 50 people
We all had a laugh and i like to think i did a good job in warming up the people for the headliner.
There were a few people on before me but they didn't really have an audience.
You know the sort of set you see a million times but no one pays attention and you feel guilty for not watching the whole set.
Now if you were to go by this review on a very punk credible site you'd actually think that the opening acts were brilliant and i was a load of shit.
That my whole take on life is some comedy fucking routine penned for laughs,cringe worthy awful and of terrible terrible bad taste.
I write about my life you fuckin cunts
No one elses.
Mine.
I write for me.
You poor fucking punk rock lambs you.
Telling ya,i stuck my blood covered cock on the 1st album just so you pissy nameless wankers could write shit on me.
OK,rant over.
And it wasn't aimed at you people,my blog followers who are all my friends.
I just hate the fucking poison some people write about me.
I just wish i could rough em up a bit.
Not too bad,just a few punchs.

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