SNOWBALLS

I throw snowballs at the business man walking home through Green park.
innocent beautiful snow peace and me a horrible fuckin rat cunt.
He sees me
sizing him up.
Menace with a fuckin snow ball.
Who is this fuckin freak throwing snow balls at me?
Why does he stand there throwing fuckin snowballs at me.
Why doesn't he moves.
But i just block his path and throw at him.
And then he's on me,
trying to put me over.
and i laugh.
Give a shit mate.
Give a fuckin shit.

YOU'VE ARRIVED

It's a funny old place when you arrive.
All the old issues of being desperate disappear.
The ultimate freedom.
Law has no hold,money has no appeal,guilt is nothing,fear is nothing,pain is nothing.
It's end of hunger.the end of craving.
It's the place of the lawless.The freedom of the lawless.
You are the day.
As you please ,as you want.
Nothing matters.
Fuck,steal,hurt,
Nothing touches the sides.
Who fucking cares.
I don't.

NIGHT WATCH

She is at her desk all peace and calm but for the groans of the recently removed,transplanted,bypassed.
The rattle wheeze of ventilators and sobs.
Clarity.
Clarity warm,calm and clear.
Wobble leg opiate clarity calm.
To stop the shakes.A secret peace in the dead of night.
Peace amongst the desperate.
Peace in the last chance saloon.
and i feel like a fuckin fraud.

THOMAS GUY HOUSE

So then i'm on the train.
From routing round the parents suburban home for money when the call came.
The surgeon for me?
Mr Cameron
But i'm not supposed to be here?
God works his magic somehow.
They have a bed.
And my arteries are to be fixed
My drowning is to be stopped.
The internal bleeding
after i've been killing myself the past 72.
Trying to die for the pain i've created for everyone.for years forever.
i hold myself on this train.
I am white and nothing
the light on my face doesn't touch me.
I can't speak
i speak my name,i am here.
I am as light a a feather.
And then they are jamming the drip into my hand.
Crunching on tendon.
Pain and real and blood sprays out.
Old as a fucking shipwreck.
Trudging to my bed.Hospital bed,White and clean.
And all that horror that surrounds me doesn't touch the void.

NEXT

And every part of me,every atom is scared.
I need to be held, to be loved.
I need my life to not be this.
this hell
I need release,to be fixed.
Take me God.
Remove me.
Hold me.
Spinning around this fuckin world.
Sky above.
Fucking remove me from this,
Hold me.
.

Chicken and cheeseburgers

Yo.
My girl Aoife writes a food blog called the Gannet.
She loves all things food.
Up until i met her i didn't give a monkeys about food.
I had lived on a diet of cheese and Marmite and chilli and if i was feeling indulgent then i'd add pesto too.
But this aint about me.
Coz of her love of food,we get to go check out all the latest cool eating spots.
She loves all that street food stuff that is currently all the rage.
Hooray,
don't we all love burgers and hot dogs.
Anyway.
Let me say this.
There's this place up the road from Kentish town,heading up towards gospel oak.It's this poncey posh pizza place BUT,behind it in a shack next to the LA Fitness carpark is definitely one of the best (if not the best) cheeseburgers you'll get in London.(i personally prefer it to Meat Liquor,London's official best burger spot)
Place is called Dirty Burger.
They sell cheeseburgers,crinkly retro chips and onion ring type fries.Also coffee with free refills.
They aint "In and Out burger" (a Californian burger chain and the best in the whole world) but they are very very good.Refreshingly,surprisingly good if you aint used to a good burger yet.
Why am i writing about burgers?
Since when did i care?
Well,last night i went to the Chicken shop they have now opened in the basement (Dirty Burger and Chicken Shop are owned by the poncey pizza place).
If you like Nandos then you will literally be killed by this place.
Ok,their menu.
They sell rotisserie chicken (which is cooked over massive grills in front of you),fries,coleslaw and corn on the cob.
When they brought over my corn,the chick asked if i wanted more butter.
Obviously my darling so check this yeah she then poured from a jug loads of amazing melted butter and herbs all over! Hooray.
We ordered a whole chicken,fries,slaw (yum) and corn.
On the table is a wicked hot sauce which reminded me of Encona mixed with something sweet.It tastes great.They also have like a smokey sauce which has a chipotle taste without the heat.
I'm telling ya.
this meal was a complete joy.
I really mean that.
If you take a girl on a date to either one of these places,
you will get laid!
It's an amazing dining spot.
2 of the best places to eat in London under one roof.
Dirty burger is small.There's a few bench seats round the side and space for about 8 in the middle.But it's a burger.I ate mine in the street on some steps.It felt pretty romantic actually.
Chicken shop has seats a plenty but is still pretty imformal.
The service was fast and great.
These poncey pizza bastards have proper nailed it!
It's all very exiting!

x

Cement you Cunt Forever!

I love my Cement you Cunt Blog.
She's seen a lot of life these past four years.
I am in the process of getting "Notes from the Sex manual" published right now.
So i have given the Sex manual another home over at Tumblr.
It's easier to read.
Here it is.
Maybe you should follow it.
Love you all.
x
http://notes-from-the-sex-manual.tumblr.com/