Saturday, 28 May 2011


Just remember man,whatever ya problems,at the end of the day,it is YOU that picks up the glass.You have a choice and you are choosing to drink.It's very easy to blame outside influences for ones alcoholism but to be honest,that's just a cop out. It's not as if we have our hands tied and they're the ones pouring the drinks down our throats.
Sorry if this sounds kinda heavy but there aint really a nice way of saying it.
We are the problem.It is our choice,no one else"s.
I say this to ya coz i remember hearing it myself for the 1st time.
I was in a group therapy session at at drying out clinic and everyone was talking about ones previous failed sobriety attempts.
And i was whinging about how my girl was still boozing and offering me no support and that my career had been wrecked after The Medallions had that motor crash.
And the councilor was like,"what,so she was forcing you to drink?She was lifting the glass to your lips?"
And i was like "aaaah"
It was after this that i realised that all my previous bouts of sobriety had failed coz i blamed everything and everyone else for my boozing but NOT myself.
I guess "acceptance" kinda really hit home after that.
It's down us and us only.
Sobriety is seriously the best thing ever.
If you are fucked,if you are an alcoholic then it will not get better.
It's down hill all the way for us lucky cats.
We may be able to briefly control it but i reckon we all know by now that it never lasts long.
All that lovely guilt we wake up to every day.
Staying sober isn't an easy ride,
there's never a time when you are suddenly fixed BUT
life gradually gets better and continues to keep getting better.Life becomes good.It really does.
The 1st year is the hardest,you have got to keep busy but after a while a time comes when you start to forget that you are suffering.

I could never imagine a life without drinking.
I just couldn't see it.
I would probably of chosen death and in fact i almost did.(i burst a massive artery off of my heart and i was bleeding internally into my lungs effectively drowning in my own blood) but this didn't stop me drinking (it was a violent incident involving a loved one that did).
Now,it seriously doesn't bother me.
Sobriety is normal,just as being fucked off my face was the norm back then.

It sounds cliched but we gotta arm ourselves against possible relapses,just shit one can do/avoid bla bla bla to avoid falling off the wagon etc
If any of this makes sense then there's plenty more stuff that would be good for you to hear.
Just shit i've learnt along the way like.


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