My name is Alex Johnson and today i'll be writing my second installment on urban street games.These modern day "hopscotchs" that are taking our fair capital,Ye Olde London by storm.
Last year i wrote the phenomenal best seller "Yes Transporter,the laws of the road" and can i just say,i'm a very rich man because of it.
Now translated into 18 languages,even the French are playing!!
Oui oui!Non non avec chat noir?
Enough,let me slip into my soft goose shawl and begin with the rules.
For 1 to 6 players (preferably friends but works equally well with work colleagues)
Winner is the best game that has ever been invented!
It's almost as good as "Yes Transporter".
So i am a man.
Not a gay man,just a boring "normal" one,so the "Winner" is almost certainly going to be female.
Can i just point out that if a "squadron" of women were playing or perhaps a "strangle" of homosexuals then the "winner" is most likely to be a man.
Have you noticed i didn't say "male".
This is because it would leave a gateway open to pedophiles forever on the search for loopholes in the law making the sexualization of children legal.
The word "male"can include children as well as the elderly both of whom are illegal to fuck and also discusting.
The sour bitter taste of children and the elderly are things only a pedophile can ever love,the reason why so many schools and hospitals employ them.
Anyway,the "winner" is the person you most want to have sex with on your travels throughout the day.
So say you and your labourer "Adam" are working on a driveway down Hermatage road and you spot a nice looking lady walking past,then i'll make the "call"
Your co player then have to acknowledge your winner and agree,even if it is sometimes reluctantly.
To disagree shows bad sportsmanship and defeats the lighthearted point of of the game.
So where to go from here?
Well,when the next fit lady is "spotted" you have to decide if she is the new winner,ie hotter than the last and if so,then all hail the new WINNER.
WINNER PENALTY CLAUSES
Thought you got away with that too easy didn't ya?
Well there's no going back on a winner.
Once a winner,always a winner,at least until the next one is "spotted".
"Loser" is not a nice term to use when referring to "Women".
The only "Loser" in this game is "You" when ya get it "wrong" and it does happen surprisingly often amongst all the excitement.
THERE'S NO GOING BACK ON A WINNER!
We've all done it.
Called a fit piece of ass from 100 yards away only to discover to our horror that on closer inspection she's a pensioner with good legs,blonde hair and a refusal to grow old gracefully.
Well she's your winner now and that means that you have to have sex with her!!
That's the risk,
that's the brilliance of winner!
You see,in the excitement of the fresh catch,mistakes can be made.
You make your bed,you lay in it AND THAT MEANS YOU GOTTA HAVE SEX WITH A GRANNY!!
CHAPTER 2,EVEN MUNTERS CAN BE WINNERS!!
Sometimes pickings can be slim.
Perhaps you live in a small village without a 6th form girls college packed with "horny vessels".
Don't despair,let the games begin!!
PUT TRUST IN YOUR COCK!
Blow that whistle,wipe away the tears,stop worrying.
You just gotta play with what ya got.
Maybe your winner in the village is the angry butchers wife with the bust from heaven?
Maybe Sally the lollypop lady has the ass of a teen but all the sexiness of a plank of mossy wood?
So who decides?
Ask him and he'll always give you a straight answer.
Where would he rather be?
Soaping himself stupid between a fat pair of tits or slipping around in the lollypop lady's wishing well?
His answer will be forthcoming and direct,your cock will always know!
If there's one single fact that i've learnt in my miserable life,then it's that you can always trust your cock to make the right decision for you.
Happy gaming squire!