Saturday, 17 March 2012

NOTES FROM THE SEX MANUAL: MINDFUCKING

Up until now these two innocent words have been given a bad rep.
A mind fuck was generally associated with a perplexing and unpleasant situation.
Not anymore, today we are here to change that.

Mindfucking is the latest craze to storm the streets of England.
Why leave all that horny imagination to the teenagers when you could have some yourself.
Let me let you in to a little secret.
Inside our head is a thing called a brain, an organic humanoid central computer not unlike that seen in the Hollywood movies. Now apart from the ability to move our body parts telepathically (without touching them)the brain has an even more "spooky" function, the imagination: the ability to see things in your own head that others cannot! Yes! Not everything you see is really there. The imagination can also be explained as "brain eyes" (to see with the brain only) and we'll be using this terminology from now on.

So there you have it. A short recap on the human brain.
Let us proceed.
Ever been with friends and a group of young nuns walk past? You know what everyone's thinking? Wouldn't it be good to deflower those frosty white women of God. Someone might make a crude suggestion to a chorused mumble of agreement, but the moment has passed, the nuns have gone and the story is over. Or is it?

"i just mindfucked the redhead in the middle while the others beat on deerskin tambourines right there on that wall"

What just happened here? The nuns had passed. Surely it isn't possible. Well it certainly is brother and a whole lot more. You see, i mindfucked the nun with my braineyes and it was brilliant.

MINDFUCKING: THE RULES. FOR TWO TO MULTIPLE PLAYERS

Once the start of play is established, players keep an eye out for potential mindfucks. Once the sexual mindfuck partner has been established the mindfuck takes place there and then. The visualisation of the act is projected into ones conscious. Once complete, the fucker shares his liaison with fellow players. The spontaneous act of the mindfuck throws up some interesting situations. Why I would fuck the busty redhead wearing nothing but a knitted bonnet I'll never know? The beauty of the mindfuck: let the subconscious take the lead.
Honesty plays a key role in this game unlike in real life where honesty leads to imprisonment and persecution. To lie or exaggerate ones mindfuck is simply not on. Don't bite of more than you can chew. Expect to be asked intimate details afterwards, any cheating is easily spotted. If one can't recount in detail the vaginas of an entire ladies hockey team down to moles, piercings and labial dimensions then don't even think about trying to bugger them as well. Keep it simple, keep it safe, get in there, fuck, get out and share the good times with friends.

PLEASE NOTE:KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THE MORBIDLY DEPRAVED OR THOSE THAT ACTUALLY ACHIEVE ORGASM (TO FILL THE PANTS) MID GAME.I'M AFRAID TO SAY THAT YOUR COLLEAGUE IS PROBABLY A PRACTICING RAPIST AND SHOULD BE REPORTED TO THE AUTHORITIES SOON AFTER THE GAME HAS FINISHED.

X

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